This has been a long time coming….
This is me in high school..Good Lord no wonder I was never asked to go to ANY dance in high school…I’m okay, no therapy needed!
See this picture (biege shirt)? I looked like that until the age of 22; I was tired. I first started WW when I was 22 (15 yrs ago), I went from 239 to 170 in 1 year. Then I stopped, I didn’t give up, my body just didn’t want to lose anymore and going from a size 20-22 to 12, I was okay with that. My life had become about working out and running, so this allowed me to eat freely and still keep the weight off. I started running and even completed 4 half-marathons and 2 full-marathons. I know! That was me. Then I met and moved in with a certain guy (who shall remain nameless, to protect the guilty). We would have martini night every Friday and Saturday and he didn’t like the idea of me working out with other guys. So I stopped going to the gym, joined Curves, and missed the sweat I would get from the gym. I don’t blame him for anything as I have learned that certain things need to happen in your life to wake up. I was so happy to have someone who loved me like he did, I actually thought it was healthy (insecure). The pounds that I had worked so hard to lose, were coming back, weekend by weekend. When I broke up with him, I had gained 25 lbs back and that’s what I was left with. I really learned a lot about myself; began working out again, but not like before, I just stayed the same, going up and down 15 lbs.
Fast forward…I moved to San Diego in 2008. Met Husband and got married in Oct 2010. I instantly put on 20 lbs (damn happy weight)… and alas, started WW Feb 15 and weighed in at 217, 22 lbs away from where I was when I was 22. I see that my weight reflected what was going on in my life at that time.
Since starting WW, I have discovered that I love to shop (sorry Husband), not only that, but I want to look as great on the outside, as I feel on the inside. There is something that has awakened inside me. At the young age of 37, I have discovered deep inside that it is okay to show my curves, that I deserve to feel and look beautiful. That even though I want to be a size 10 (okay, maybe 8), I can be unstoppable at a size 12. I stopped the first time when I was a 12…was I afraid of what would happen at a 10 or 8? Who knows…what matters now, is that I’m ready for it. I always joked that I wanted to weigh what I weighed in 4th grade, but now I want to weigh what I weighed in 2nd grade. I deserve this… I work hard, slow and steady, on my terms. I owe it to myself to start running, to look at my life as long marathon with breaks in between, but never give up. I give myself permission to walk, jog, run, even sprint at times. I will continue on this journey with you by my side…pushing me, encouraging me, and reminding me of the work I’ve done.
Today, I weighed in at 172.2, 2.2 lbs away from the lowest I have ever been. AND, .2 lbs away from 45 lbs! The WW topic was what improvements have been made in your life this year. I thought about my closet, I cleaned out 5 bags of sizes 14-16-18 clothes. I gave them away and now building a new closet of 12’s and soon 10’s. I felt like I had shed my old skin and slowly coming into my new skin.
Some ask why this time….well, I have acknowledged that I, and only I, have the power to change what I look like and how I feel. I can’t begin to tell you the excitement I have for what is to come; I don’t know what it is… BUT I do know one thing; it will be great, you know why….because that’s how I want it!