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Fight vs. Struggle

The fight – a fight only lasts 12 rounds…it has an end. An end where there is a victor, someone who gets to go home at the end of the fight to bask in the glory of a win. A struggle – is an ongoing battle without an end… there may be little wins, but it is an ongoing journey. A journey that starts and only stops when we surrender to the struggle; therefore resulting in a loss. AHHH and this, my friends, is how I see weight loss. My weight loss. Sometimes life get in the way, but really, aren’t we part of our own life? Shouldn’t this just be part of our struggle to become our best self, inside and out? I’ve learned and continue to learn about my body.. what it needs and what it needs to stay away from so that I can feel good about my daily struggles.  Do you really want to eat that or do you feel you just deserve it? If you eat it, did you lose the fight or is it part of your struggle? That’s all I have for today… until the next time I have a random thought. MUAH!

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Anchors away!

It’s not very often when I discuss what actually is talked about at my Weight Watchers meeting, I guess….ummm……yeah…I don’t know why. However, today was different, we talked about anchors, the little or big thing that you keep with you to remind you that you are changing your life. Well the past few weeks have been all about going out, pretty much at least 4 times a week since the middle of March. I didn’t step on the scale for the sake of not liking (scared) what I would see. I did step on the scale last Saturday before I was to go to my meeting, I didn’t go… you can draw your own conclusion as to why.. :)   Simply put, my weight was escaping me. The way I see it, I just need to be on top of my weight, not let it get away from me. Back to my anchor…I went out last Saturday and my jeans just didn’t fit like they did last month. That was dreadful, knowing that I worked so hard to get to where I want to be and I let a few weeks get by and just STOPPED. And there, those jeans became my personal ANCHOR. SOOOOOOOO……. I recommitted myself to ME. I started Turbo Fire, drank a gallon of water a day and made better food choices. My husband even told me that he was going to support me by not wanting to go out to eat. Down side – looks like I’ll be cooking more.

Oh, where was I? Yes, back to the meeting, our leader asked the Lifetime members to stand so we could applaud them. I sat there imagining what it would be like when I reach lifetime, what would I say? Just the thought of it made me teary.  I completed 5 days of Turbo Fire yesterday….and look to the left, that is what I look like every time I finish…pure bliss. It’s tough, in fact, my abs are sore as I type. BTW, I made a decision not to measure myself before I started, I just figured that you would all see the difference in the 30, 60  and 90 day pictures. You know what they say…a picture is worth a thousand words.

What is your anchor? Muah!

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A new adventure…

…we all come to a point in our weight loss where we feel like “I’m good”, “comfortable with my weight”, even thinking “I got this”. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!  For those of you who know me or following me, I have yet to reach goal. Yup, 2 years later and just haven’t hit it yet. A thought came into my head… “am I purposely choosing NOT to reach my goal because I know maintenance will be harder?” that’s where the hard work comes in. Perhaps. Do I really enjoy spending $40 a month to stay stagnant? I know that when I DECIDE to hit my goal, I will have achieved something I never have before. Yes, it scares me and the more I think about it…I have questions… what will I look like? how will people see me? how will I see myself? AND THEN. as if the clouds parted…I had clarity….I WILL LOOK and FEEL BADASS!!! I am ready for this. I think I gave everyone in my life to get use to me as I look now. Never take comfort in being comfortable…OMG, who just said that?  So there, I am done with that phase and taking the next phase on as if I’m starting from scratch. ENTER LEFT – TURBO FIRE!!!!

turbo fire photo

I started yesterday…It was intense, but SOOO MUCH FUN!!! So much fun that I was looking forward to doing it this morning and I did at 6am, after I walked for 45 min. The music is pumping and the workouts are intense! In fact I look like her when I’m doing it. Except, I’m a brunette. I’ll be posting progress pictures after the first 30 days are done.

Wish me luck! Have you tried anything new?

MUAH!

 

 

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Yeah it was my bday…

100MEDIA_IMAG0802…the only difference…I now enter 39 on the cardio machine instead of 38 for my age. God, I hope this means I can lose more calories, now that I’m older! Okay, time to get real…I’m teeter-tottering I know, I know, you don’t have to say it.. “You’ve been teeter-tottering since last year”. The truth - I’m suppose to be in control, BUT, hey, it’s been hard. So much going on in my life. UMMMM okay my nose is growing…really I need a goal. Not much going on in my life, I just need to get a jump-start, I’ve been thinking of ordering Turbo Fire because my fellow blogger – www.brookenotonadiet.com/ has had great success, in fact she inspired me to do the Ripped in 30 and I did it!! So I guess I solved my own dilemma.  Thanks for everything! BTW, my birthday is always filled with plenty of eating and drinking, Started at lunch with 6 oysters shots, and haven’t stopped. Wait, that’s pretty much every other week! I’m trying to say no to going out. I can’t wait to start school so I’ll have valid excuse! August, where are you? MUAH!

 

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I’m in love…

.machines..with this machine! Treadmill shredmill…I have FINALLY found a new machine..a new reason to workout…a new reason to WANT to go to the gym…heck a new reason to sweat! It goes forward, backwards, turns into a stairclimber, an elliptical and a treadmill all in one. This just might be the key to get my out of my NOT losing weight rut. I’ll admit its been hard. These past few months stagnant..half the time I’m just trying to undo the damage from celebrating that I actually made it to weigh-in on Saturday mornings. I found my iPod after thinking I lost it for 6 months, only to lose my charger for it…I JUST CAN’T WIN! Thank God though my new love has a tv screen! BTW, this is what my gym looks like at 5 am, empty, EXCEPT for us die hards…that’s just how I roll!

Onto other news… we are loving our new house! I’ve painted the dining room, going for a spanish colonial style and found my calling…pulling weeds! In know! There’s just something about twisting and pulling the whole root out. You can say it’s therapeutic. You can say I’m crazy… but I love it! I must have done 1000 squats on Saturday, only to dream about doing more on Sunday. How are you doing? MUAH!

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Coming clean…

…yes I need to confess my readers, for I have sinned.  Okay NOT really sinned, but, I just took a hiatus from me. Lately, I’ve been all about others, to please others, and with that comes along food and drink(s). I can’t help that I love to go out,  I just need to make better choices. I wake up 3 days a week at 5am to workout, but for what? So I can maintain, I haven’t even hit maintenance YET! In fact, I’m still trying to lose those last 5-8 lbs. Ok, my nose is growing, did I say TRYING…..LIE!! I need to get my act together because I know I can do it…do it? I’ve been doing it! My mind just needs to get that kick again. However, I will give myself a little slack..my husband and I just bought a home  AND I just got accepted to Cal State San Marcos as a Junior, still in pursuit of my BA in Business, I start in the Fall.

My workouts right now are treadmill and kettlebell. I need to change it up a bit, maybe I need to set a goal? Maye start a new dvd? Any suggestions?

I do have some good, no great, news…BUT I can’t reveal just yet! Don’t you hate it when people say that! MUAH!

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Happy 2nd year Anniversary!

to me!! I started my lifelong journey on Feb 15, 2011 and have a grand total loss of 61lbs. SO FAR… I still have yet to reach my goal of 65lbs to maintain my weight at 152. This has been a long journey, I know, however, I have learned so much about myself in ways I never thought I could. I’ve had breakthroughs in overcoming road blocks, emotionally, mentally and physically. This past year was all about discovering my inner self and knowing that I can do anything I put my mind to.  I was stripped of all my emotional layers to get to the root of my REAL issues that caused my weight problem to begin with. I started with a walk and ended up running a half-marathon. I changed my “what ifs” to “why not”.  My body wants to stay here, no more teeter-tottering. I know it’s been 2 years since I started WW, but isn’t time what we all have? I live a great life and have managed to keep the 61 lbs off  for 2 years, now that’s good way to look at it. I’m only a few pounds away from attaining my real goal of becoming a WW leader and of course submitting my story to magazines. I want to get the secret out about weight loss… SECRET? what secret..EXACTLY! Time people, We are here today and that’s all that matters, we got one more day, and as Jack said from the Titanic…MAKE IT COUNT!  So I’m off to the gym. Normally I don’t work out on Saturdays, BUT hey things change and I’m driving!! MUAH! ww2

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